Loss of sexual desire is such a big issue for so many new moms that we reached out to Naturopathic Doctors Rachel and Maryska, co-founders of Clinic Intrinsic to learn their tips on reversing low libido. Want a chocolate bar and glass (or two) of wine instead of a sexy romp? It’s not all in your heads ladies, and there are some things you can do about it! Haaaallelujah.
To spice things up in the bedroom after baby, it can be as easy as tapping into these top 10 issues…
1. Determine If You Have a Medical Condition: First and foremost you must determine if there is something medically significant going on. Are you suffering from an undiagnosed medical condition, such as hypothyroidism or hypertension that could be affecting how you feel both in and out of the bedroom, as well as your ability to become sexually aroused? Do you experience pain with intercourse? Are your hormones out of whack? Do you have adrenal fatigue? If you are suffering from a hormonal imbalance –which is common postpartum – then this could be the reason behind your lagging libido. If you think something might be up, it’s time to chat with us or another healthcare professional to see what is going on.
2. Amp Up Your Nutrition: Just like great abs are made in the kitchen, great sex is made in the kitchen, too. Ensure you are eating a well-balanced, whole-foods diet complete with enough lean protein, complex carbohydrates from whole grains, fruits, and vegetables, as well as healthy fats to keep you nourished and energized. The simple act of cleaning up your diet can make a huge difference in your sex drive. Your naturopathic doctor can run simple food intolerance testing to determine if certain foods are no good for you.
3. Determine If You Are In Need of Supplements: Even with an excellent diet it can be possible to be low on certain nutrients. Lab testing done through your medical or naturopathic doctor can determine if you are low on things such as iron or vitamin B12, which could be affecting your overall vitality. This is especially common for women after giving birth. From there, your ND can work with you to determine which supplements may be most beneficial while also considering medical conditions and medications.
4. Amp Up Your Hydration: Sex requires a lot of fluids, especially for vaginal wall lubrication, excreted fluids and blood flow. Without ample hydration, you could be drying yourself out. If you are breastfeeding you will need even more fluids. Aim for 2-3 litres of water each day minimum.
5. Check In With Your Body Image & Awareness: Are you feeling less than stellar about your appearance? Are you beating yourself up for how you look? It’s time to get real with how your thoughts may be affecting your bedroom confidence. Compassion and love for our bodies and ourselves is especially important after giving birth. Remember, you just grew another human being in your beautiful body and it will take time for your body to recover from giving birth. If you have had any complications with giving birth this is even more pertinent and it is important to be patient and compassionate with yourself. Consider working with a counselor to sort through your thoughts toward your body if you feel you need someone to talk to.
6. Check In With the Health of Your Relationship: Are you and your partner connecting? Is there an issue at the root of your relationship that could be causing your sex drive to sink? Do you not want to have sex because you feel you are giving too much of yourself in other areas of life? It may be time to have a very honest conversation with your partner or consider working with a relationship counsellor or a sex therapist to bring your relationship back into a healthy state so that sex becomes pleasurable and enjoyable for both. Remember that sex changes over the course of a relationship and it’s important to keep an open dialogue with your partner about his or her expectations. There are also many ways to be intimate beyond having intercourse that you can explore with your partner and will help you both feel loved and connected.
7. Exercise: Blood flow and endorphins are key for sexual enjoyment. Nothing gets your blood flowing and your endorphins up like exercise. We suggest finding an activity that you truly enjoy to increase your chances of sticking to it! Also consider working with a personal trainer or joining other moms to stay active. Do what you love and feel comfortable doing after giving birth. If you suspect that you have diastasis recti or issues with your pelvic floor, we suggest seeking help from a pelvic floor physiotherapist or speaking with companies like The Bump Method about how to best approach postpartum exercise so that you are strengthening your core and not creating further imbalance or injury to your body.
8. Practice Relaxation & Optimize Sleep: We all lead such incredibly busy lives making it easy for stress, to-do lists and exhaustion to get in the way of sexual desire. The need for rest and sleep becomes even greater when you are a new mom and sleep is scarce. Implement a down-time routine before bed – take a bath, cuddle, enjoy a cup of tea, lower the lights, and light a candle. Once you are in a state of relaxation, it is much easier for your body to enter a state of readiness for sexual pleasure. Ensuring you are experiencing optimal sleep is also crucial. Exhausted people simply are not going to want to have sex – and this is okay. Practice compassion for yourself and nourish yourself and the libido will come. If your sleep is seriously off base it is a good time to speak with your naturopathic doctor to determine what can be done to get you sleeping soundly. We find that sometimes it’s the patents that need help sleep training once baby is on a schedule! P.S. Check out our Sleep Month posts on our blog to learn more.
9. Practice Mindfulness & Meditation: Tapping into your true desires can bring out your true self. Consider developing a meditation schedule using tools like Headspace.com to help you turn inward, and bring out your true self. Meditation group classes may also be of benefit. Be mindful of how you are talking, treating, and relating to yourself and your partner. Simply changing your mindset can make for magical bedroom moments. Mindfulness will help you be in the moment with your partner rather than making a grocery list or planning your next day in your head.
10. Practice Gratitude: Being thankful for your body, your mind, your soul, your partner, your baby and so on, can spark a fire of good feelings enhancing your ability to get in the mood. Try it out tonight!
As always, we are here to guide you through any or all of these steps. We’d love to chat with you about optimizing your libido, so don’t hesitate to reach out to us at email@example.com to learn more about working with one of us.
Not sure if we can help? We’d love to offer you a 15-minute complimentary consult to see if we’re a good fit for you. Have you tried out these tips? Did they work for you? Tell us about on our social media platforms or by emailing us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Don’t forget to share this with a friend in need 😉
Here’s to your lifted libido,